"So you're saying you have no children, Barrie??"

None of my own Barb, 2 step kids (grown and gone, with kids of their own). Luckily my wife had kids at a young age.

Cheers, Barrie.

Barrie, Your palms are your kids now 😀
Me too.

Allen, in winter it's too cold to smoke outdoors in Edmonton!
Looks like your winter's fading...thank goodness.
Barb

It is not that cold for some people. When she knew it was smoke outside or get out, my (expletive deleted) niece would go stand by the dryer vent and smoke. That included when it was -38*C. 14 days until she is gone. It is forecast to stay around -10*C to +5*C for high temperatures through the end of the month. With it being that warm, there will be room in the Salvation Army homeless shelter if she has been that stupid as to waste the money from her jobs on clothes, booze and drugs.

I have arrangements made for her 2 children in the probable event that she has not got a place for her and the kids. They are the only reason that I took her and the children in. It looks like I will be adding a 10 year old boy to my palm kids. At least until the end of the school year.

I may be an Ogre with my attitude towards her, but she is the only person I know that fits this phrase. 'You can tell that she is lying, her mouth is open.'

14 days and counting. 😛

Allen

PS I'm sorry for being off topic, but I feel tremendous relief that I don't have to throw her children out with her 😀

Allen,
Oh, sorry what you're going through.
Sounds like she could have used some tough love ages ago.

But 14 days will go by quickly...
How sad that the kids have to see and know what's going on.
Childhood should be an innocent time, but it isn't for many.

Good for you for your commitment to the kids...family after all.
You're lucky indeed that Chris is such an understanding partner.

Happy to see a chinook heading your way...you'll have the enclosure lid off just to let the heat out!
We'll be counting down the days with you.
Barb

Thanks. She has only been with us since mid November. It just seems like years. Her mother should have applied some tough love when she was 10 years old or younger. Not when she is 25. Chris, the babysitter and I have turned her spoilt miserable bitch 3 year old daughter into a slightly difficult child. I guess that we are making a little progress with my niece, although it is probably temporary. Although she has had 5 different employers since November, she has worked steadily with the exception of over xmas. When she was at her mother's she would work for 2 or 3 weeks before getting fired or not showing up and then she would ly around for 2 or 3 months.

I am worried about the 3 year old as she keeps coming on to me-- flashing her chest and genitals and asking me if I like them or asking me to touch her. I am hoping that this is only from watching her mother in action and not from sexual abuse. The boy just needs some positive masculine influence as well as reinforcement that he is 10 and not 20 years old.

I am lucky to have Chris. Her patience with my coming to the rescue of my family has been tried quite often. Every now and again, I remind her about the times we have rescued members of her family.

13 1/2 days and counting.

I am surprised that the shelter temperature is only 12*C. But the sky is hazy and everything is snow covered. I told Cameron, my G nephew, that we would inspect and water the palms together and he is visiting his grandparents this weekend. I may not be able to hold out until Tuesday before I open the shelter. I figure that 15*C is too warm for the Canna lily if the temps will fall to below freezing again.

Unfortunately I haven't paid much attention to the forum. that will change March 1st. 😀

Allen

Allen,
Of course it feels like years (since November).
It would for all of us.

Re that precocious ? 3 year old, I'd have Chris talk to her a bit every day...that way, in several weeks, she'll have made an impact on the child re pride in one's self, etc. and a little dignity and decorum. She'll certainly need instruction before she hits adolescence. And, to be quite blunt, Allen, you should always have another person in the same room with you (I know it sounds insane), but you don't know how things can be "turned around" to haunt you years down the road.
I've had a tiny bit of experience with the subject through a friend's family, and she went through hell years later when "memories" seemed more than they really were. Enough of that!

Chris is a saint.

You may get that chinook arriving earlier...get ready to let the heat out!
Bet everything's looking good in there.
Barb

Thanks Barb;

I have begun to distance myself from my 3 yr old G. niece as it is impossible to ensure that I am never alone with her. Her mother ignores her and the 3 of us are frequently in the house together which causes the little girl to follow me around. After 36 hours with her mother and without the Babysitter, myself or my wife near her, she has begun returning to her old ways. They were here about 1 1/2 hours today to clean up and change. She has become as uncommunicative and secretive as her mother and I noticed her sizing me up like a carnivore does with it's prey. I have started to ignore her and refuse to talk or do things with her. It is a pity. But I can't do much more for her in the next 2 weeks and I had better start covering my ass. 🙁

Enough about this. 13 days and counting 😐

Allen

Alchris, is this even a possibility.....
The mother, seems to me is almost a lost cause. I would #1 kick her out TODAY. Any time spent "saving" her is actually "enabeling" her to continue her ways.
Is it even a possibilty to go to Child Protection Services and tell them whats going on with the 3 year old? This way, YOU (and from the sounds of things, YOU are the most important thing here) do not get caught up in the middle.
Because I can VERY easily see the mother doing something like trying to get YOU in trouble and sueing you for messing with her 3 year old, as a way to get $$$$$ for drugs.
Sorry if I am out of line, as I really don't know the whole story and am not in your shoes, It's just that I DO care about YOU and want the best life has for YOU.

Allen,
Ditto Wes' comments. ❗
People with good intentions often get sucked into these people's BS.

Barb

I didn't want to go into a lot of detail, but I have pretty much everything covered except the 'sexual abuse' angle and I am working on that.

I was kept in the dark by my brother and his wife as to Steph's history so that her con job worked and Chris and I took her and Brooke, her 3 yr old, off of their hands. I began to suspect that I was being kept in the dark when they started shipping Steph's junk to me and almost refused to let her have Cameron, the 10 year old, move here at semester break. Since I gave Steph notice to be out of our house by February 28th back in Mid January, I have slowly been finding out Steph's history.

Steph's mother is the children's legal guardian and Steph's older brother Shawn is the Social Services designated 'foster family' in the event that Social Services becomes involved again. This occurred when Steph ended up in jail and had the children taken from her.

Shawn is tough enough to handle both children and keep Steph from screwing up their lives further. He will be taking Brooke and possibly Cameron.

My sense of honor and 'my word is my bond' has been the only thing that I had a number of times in my life(except my wife Chris). It has cost me at times and is costing me now. I told Steph that she would be leaving Feb 28th and she will stay until then. But Feb 28th not the 29th.

The 'delay' allows time for Shawn to get set up and us to arrange for Cameron's schooling. It also gives Cameron an adjustment period. It also allows time for us to get as much info from the babysitter's family about Brooke to prepare a counselor for dealing with Brooke.

I have been the 'caretaker' in my family since I was 10 and Chris has been one of the caretakers in her family since she was about 15. She was the middle child of 11, they needed 2 caretakers. When I became totally disabled by depression and Northern Alberta Health Care in 1999, I had to distance myself from my siblings and parents as they still expected me to be all give and no get.

I will be talking to my sister-in-law this weekend and will likely call Social services on Tuesday. Thanks for the suggestion, Wes.

Allen

Allen, hope it works out to your and Chris' wishes.
Barb

And in the Ooops category, this Zamiaculcas didn't make it in the cold-building.
Oh well, that's what it gets for impersonating a Zamia 😆

The next pic is one of three Calamondin--the oldest--it defoliates every winter while fruit is ripening.
Every summer comes back like gangbusters.
Yet another example of the range in low minimums one can expect among plants of the same species.

Barb

Allen,

I have been keeping tabs on this thread and I can't keep quiet any longer. First of all I am sorry that you have been pushed into this ordeal. Second, I can tell you without a doubt that the 3 year old has been sexually abused. My wife went through the same thing and she is still dealing with it at 36 years old. She didn't learn it from Mom. Something must be done NOW or she will be lost forever. My prayers are with you and your family.

Craig

Thanks Craig. Please direct your prayers for Brooke.

I will be calling Tuesday.

Allen

Alchris (Allen),
I'm in on this off topic late and ceratinly don't qualify as an advisor by any stretch. I do however wish you, your family members and all concerned, the best wishes that a fellow gardener can offer in this abstract cyber-world.

Cheers and best wishes --- spring's coming for everyone in all regards. 😀 Barrie.