While there are many things to love about the end of winter, the one thing I don’t look forward to is the annual rite of tree-topping...the only fad that’s spreading around the country faster than body art. Tree topping, aka butchering, especially of crape myrtles, is truly one of the most bizarre rituals to ever affect the gardening community. I’ve almost concluded that alien mind control must be at work here, causing Homo sapiens males with power tools and no critical thinking skills to bizarrely butcher any tree in their yard they think might possibly look like a crape myrtle. Other than releasing extra testosterone and making their carbon footprint the size of Sasquatch, there is absolutely no logical reason to top trees. Tree topping does not keep the tree shorter and it does not make it flower better. It does, however, make your tree decrepitly ugly, weak-branched, and more susceptible to disease while putting on display your low gardening IQ to all your neighbors.
Tony Avent's delightful humor
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- Arctic Palm Plantation
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- Joined: Sun Feb 18, 2007 7:31 pm
- Location: Vernon BC, Zone 5a or 5b (close to 6A!)
Tony Avent's delightful humor
Today's newsletter provides more of his hilarious comments:
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If you drink, don't drive. Don't even putt.
If you drink, don't drive. Don't even putt.
He is a character!
I remember those directions to his place (maybe you posted?)a
few years ago-that was hilarious!
I remember those directions to his place (maybe you posted?)a
few years ago-that was hilarious!
<img src="http://weathersticker.wunderground.com/ ... rfield.gif" alt="Click for Fairfield, Iowa Forecast" border="0" height="60" width="468" />
wait a second............I shouldn't be trimming my Crape?
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- Arctic Palm Plantation
- Posts: 11325
- Joined: Sun Feb 18, 2007 7:31 pm
- Location: Vernon BC, Zone 5a or 5b (close to 6A!)
Turns 'em into Crap Myrtles, according to Tony.I shouldn't be trimming my Crape?
Me too.those directions to his place
That was THE funniest stuff I've ever read.
"turn left at the donkey poop" etc.
And in his annual catalogue, here and there sprinkled among descriptions of individual plants, he carries on.
Find myself reading plant varieties just for the humor.
"...until I've killed it three times myself".
The man's a gem.
Barb
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If you drink, don't drive. Don't even putt.
If you drink, don't drive. Don't even putt.
Far Reaches Farm Nursery also is funny sometimes.........here's an excerpt:
"At this young stage, they bear resemblance to Schefflera alpina and S. chapansis but since they were collected by Aaron Floden, we're smart enough to know that if he doesn't know than we don't know. It's kind of like that Donald Rumsfeld thing where there are known knowns and known unknowns and if we know we don't know than we know more than those who don't know but know they do. Generally I found little palatable about him but I did find myself defending him over this quote as it made perfect sense to me."
"At this young stage, they bear resemblance to Schefflera alpina and S. chapansis but since they were collected by Aaron Floden, we're smart enough to know that if he doesn't know than we don't know. It's kind of like that Donald Rumsfeld thing where there are known knowns and known unknowns and if we know we don't know than we know more than those who don't know but know they do. Generally I found little palatable about him but I did find myself defending him over this quote as it made perfect sense to me."
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- Arctic Palm Plantation
- Posts: 11325
- Joined: Sun Feb 18, 2007 7:31 pm
- Location: Vernon BC, Zone 5a or 5b (close to 6A!)
The diff is that Tony corrects his grammatical errors before publishing
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If you drink, don't drive. Don't even putt.
If you drink, don't drive. Don't even putt.
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